.: g0odbyes really are f0rever;

Y Thursday, March 31, 2005Y

10:58 PM

HAppy BirthDay Xin ya ! hahax... todae ish xin ya's birthday... brought the condomi and stuffs to her... hahax... verii paiseh when i took it to sch... ya den we sang birthday song for her in class thrice... durin cMe lesson watch a vide0 , duriin pe, coz stomachache and kana said by mr lim siia... so i m not realli happy becoz of it... and partially becoz of my stomachache... todae after sch , went for whole sch's awards dae rehersal and sang mani dreams one aspiration... haiix... the same s0ng... tmr performiin... dun feel like to... after tt , went to xy hse and plae... den ate dinner dere... dinner was verii nice... hahax... and the ice cream cakee too... yummii... den daddy fetch me home so i got to c moii sister... she verii cute siial... I luv her smile.... too bad she is onlii 3 months old niia... luv her lotx... seein her all my worries are gone... den now bothered by how to save the peskii physics proj...
[ e n d ]
if the day cum tt i'll hab to let go , i'll probably let u noe tt i feel contented juz lookiin at u....
[ tired of takin initiative ]

Y Wednesday, March 30, 2005Y

4:55 PM

1 m0re day to xy's birthdae.... hahax... she will have a memorable birthday tiS yr oR shld i say it will bE hArd t0 forget... hahax... ya... excited... preparin sincer last weeks le... den todae i hate the first few less0ns... ya... den maths is still tt b0ring... and lit t00 !! hahax... den verii happy t0dae... hahax... thanks to moii lao g0ng... hahax... todae's stand n deliver by 4D is verii funnii n cute... esp the sissys... hahax... luff like crazy... Well Done sial... not feelin well, stomachache s0 i t00k cab home aGain ! waste $ onlii... so reach home early ... den nv go cca...omigod !!! i accidentalli spoilt the purple sunglass tt i juz bought !! Sh*t ! aiya ~ muZ buy new one le... den wastE $ again !! i like tt sUnglass alot leHx...ai Yah... mE t00 rough sp0ilt it... (-_-o)... [ e n d ]

i luv u and i'll nv let u go ... if i hab to boy i think tt u shld noe.. and promise that u will nv be replaced..
i feel for you yes i do... i'll be with u as long as u wan me to... until the end of the time...

Y Tuesday, March 29, 2005Y

10:56 PM

todae iis a verii tiriin dae for moii... hahax... coz after sch, got choir siia... until 7 plus... tired... den t0ok cab home coz rushiin to tuition... den in class, lessons are boriin but quiite fun... todae iish a verii happi dae for me though got to c her again.... Sianz... but got to know thiings... feeliin very happii thou it may nt be true ya... hahax... den tok to lao g0ng for verii long in the phone and luffin away siia... tmr chinese test... hahax... sianz... ok tt's alL...

i dun wan to let go but i am afraid i m not given the chance to hold on .......

Y Monday, March 28, 2005Y

7:53 PM

todae iis a extreme bad dae for mii... bad... feeliin verii down but lucky i found my handbook... Simi t00k it h0me , made me cried like crazy last niitez... pathetic soul... hahax... den class was boriin and bad esp todae ~ ahem... den went f0r cheerleadiin todae.... and i didn't know why i suddenly feel verii sadx tt i cried ! Omiigod... and seein it makes me feel worse... s0 i can't take it ani further... STressed.......den went jp ... buy pressie again... hahax... verii nice siia.... i luv tt thing lots..... but too bad not for mii... is for the potential princess... hahax... ya... den thiinkin better ideas coz it's pay back time... hahax... jkjk.... i m verii kind... hahax...ya.... tt's all ...

sh0uld i let go of things tt does not belongs to moii? but i juz can't bear it ... coz i m not sure of the ans yet.......

Y Sunday, March 27, 2005Y

10:04 PM

todae wake upp verii late ... den i was bluff to orhard again... 3 days aso go orhard... Omigod... den my cousin treat mii watch eye 10... d3n while walkin at orhard, my shoe spoilt niia... den my cousin and kor buy a new shoe for me... hahax... pai seh ... den eye 10 is a verii funni show... it's more comedy den horro lorx... hahax.. den it's my cousin turn tt spoilt his shoe... hahax... ya... den haven do hw siia... todae aso saw a 5 yr old kid playin drum... pr0!` so Cute... ya... den went hm ... [e n d ]

i m realli clear of how ii feel and i will follow my real feeliings......

Y Saturday, March 26, 2005Y

8:46 PM

8:16 PM

no matter who he likes , i dun wan to give up on him and never will i try to give him up... it is not tt easy to change afterall ... i dun think i will be able to forget so i dun intend to .....
now preparing to go out with devils le... juz wakin up early todae... ish 9.40 am early? hahax...
8.10 pm ` - i m now eatin my pathetic dinner myself... hahax... iish verii fattenin indeed... gettin fatter each dae... haiix... den todae went out with the devils and took neoprintz... fun... and i bought another sunglass... OMG !~ the 3rd one... hahax... peskii d3n ii put it on my head, yee mun they all say i look like gui fu... hahhax... i wann to be one too.... hee... den bought a necklace... hahax... luv it lotz... coz it is not cheap TO me onlii... and aso bought earing... regretted coz it's too Big.... hahax... den walk walk le , meet hadi n ivan den went home quite earlii todae ya.. tt's ALL... verii fun to be wiif DEvils... coz it simply rawkz......

- i accept his faults cos it is part of who he are , so tt's love..... so letting go will hence hurtz.....

7:27 AM

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Y Friday, March 25, 2005Y

9:38 PM

todae morniin went to s'pore conference hall f0r choir... d3n after ch0ir straight away went home... den lata went to mit yee mun n eunice to g0 buy prezzie ... den h0rx , mrt gt delayed coz s0meone jump d0wn the track i thiink... pathetic.. den we went t0 orhard... n i bought 2 sunglasses n a cap... god spent alot siia.... den we meet up with woody and we saw kumar's 'brother' .... hahax... so funni... den After tt , yee mun dey all g0 home first n i did not get to buy my cap s0 i went bac wif woody to pacific plaza... so tirin... kept walkin somemore take alot of things.... god... den...reach hm bout 9 plus.... wo0h... tmr devils goiin out... yea can take ne0print... cool... yeah....sometimes i realli hope tt someone would tell me right to the face tt i m not worth to even like a pers0n ... s0 i will noe tt there is [no] place for me ...... at a ll.. [ e n d ]

feel s0 relieved... i will use the best method tt iish to Avoid.....

Y Thursday, March 24, 2005Y

6:46 PM

todae iis a long day ya... and todae miss sim changed seat le ! i sat with simi at the back... but xy was sadz as she sat with a ticko... haiix... but think now is not tt tiicko le... we muz be careful with wat we write in the blog coz words are goin round in sch... ohmigod ! does it mean sim saw it? .... [dotz] todae's leeson are verii boriin... den still gt folkdance... daisy iis still e same... dance like a crab but thiink hab improve alot le..hahax... iish like ii m scared of her.... i scared she tok bout the thiings tt i dun wan to hear... i scared tt she would tell me wat dey tok a0ut... and if this goes on... he will be verii disapointed in moi... will tis happen?? haiix... i m juz a pathetic s0ul and how i wish i can tell him ab0ut it... still nid go church later ... rushiin like crazii... hope can cum home earlii coz tmr muz wake up earlii... haix... i wan sleep !~

there is not a nid to avoid coz it may become reality ...

Y Wednesday, March 23, 2005Y

7:16 PM

ytd niite, someone call mi... sho is my fault agaiin.... haiz... always the same tr0uble n tiis time , i did not say aniithin and i got it ! i m sh0 unlucky... seriously , i m unhappii bout iit....becoz she sort of accusin me [ honestly] !~ and todae is a bad dae f0r me... i did not tok to hiim ... tt's wat i dun wan to... mayb i m juz siick of gettin iinto this kind of thiingy le.... but iis tt a wrong iidea?? was my behaviour weird ?? n i naturalli started to keep my true feeliins when she tok to me.... and i started babbling nonsense... shit siia ~ and todae iin claz, me peskii go n change seat den unlucky, sim came n caught moii... hahax.... pai seh sia... den after sch nid to c her... at fiirst i was piised off wen i need to c her, and she was nt angrii at all and even knew how ii feel... i was shocked n wronged bout her... and she is reconsideriin b0ut my seat... yeah ! onlii thing tt i can be happi wif todae.... hahax... y is it oways me ? thankz to theiir sl camp... hahax... and todae choir was as usual... quiite boriin... me n gladys went home den in the bus, dere is a bunch of irritatin guys from dunno wat camp babblin nonsense as if we noe them liddat.... me n gladys were like turnin to other direction and kept quiet haahx... there iis one particular psycho ! YucKz !~ onli piigs will give him theiir no... i was soo unlucky, met dem in the mrt ~ shit ! and he started tokin shit and i was verii pissed off and i stared at dem ... hahax... ya... dun ever let mii see dem again... eek..... [ e n d ]

i m s0 afraid to face him n her ....... i hab to tell lies..... so i became the bitch of the dae !

Y Tuesday, March 22, 2005Y

5:08 PM

i m damn fed up with tt sim... gosh ... " let me think for 1 day " tis is apparently bullshit ! wat is this ...? haix... my seat iish still not changed... n i m still waiitin...... haix... verii verii pissed off by it... den todae we hab a new classmate Daisy... muz intro to everyone... she is a big chiio bu... hahax... [ cute n niice ] no gals can win her de lorx... hahax... had a good luff with her... and she is like so generous ! hahax... Thank U Daisy ! hahax... todae's lessons are BOring ! Siianx.... den todae we went hm earlii about 2 plus hahax... haiix... still gt tuition sia... is all bout studies... juz can't take it animore... m i wr0ng to wriite how i feel here .... ?

m i juz a jealous bitch ...? but in the first place iish it jealousy?

Y Monday, March 21, 2005Y

8:40 PM

what a sickening dae... haiix... ai ya ... school reopen , ms siim change seat siia... siianx... den somemore, sit in the front row n peskii de sit beside tt wei jun... wah sianz.... life can nv be tt worse bahx... haiix... den i m verii disappointed with tt douglas... he still dare to say he knew us for 3 yrs ! craPz... haiix.... sad ... hahax... den go 4 tt awards ceremonii rehersal.... gosh.... muz wear tt ugly costume ! Pai sehz ! haix... den nearlii fell down... haix... hahax.... ppl luff at moii... and todae i heard things tt i dun wan to hear... oways tt unlucky... juz makiin my life miiserable... haix... wan forget aso cannot le lah ! den i nv knew tt likin someone else will be tt fast... hahax... bois ! hahax... den took taxi home cos ish rather late ... reach hm bout 8 plus le... tt's all [e n d ]

if u are not wat u are now, i may not even like u... so i shld not push the blame .......

Y Sunday, March 20, 2005Y

8:45 PM

o god ! tmr sch reopen le... sianz siia....holidae assighment piling up... [regretz] nv do during holiday... i now rushing all the homeworks like sum kinda of mad gal here... haix... stressed... iish all muii fault ! hahax... i m so shocked coz i am doing hw for the whole dae... unbelievable... hahax... ai ya... tmr sure die wan... a maths ws leave alot blanks... coz 1 week le all forget le... damn forgetful siia... no nid take o level le... sure diie one... haiix... muz work hard le... somemore tmr gt ss test if i m nt wrong ! ah !!! goin crazii le... BOOKS ! c le aso sianz... okok i shall stop here ... continue with my homework le...... [ e n d ]

thinkin tt things might change , nv realise tt i shld be the one changiin.......

Y Friday, March 18, 2005Y

1:08 AM

14-03-05 - todae is monday hahax... no nid go school... so happi... todae i stayed at home like a lazy pig so nth much happened... tmr goin sentosa le... so excited ! hahax...
15-03-05 - todae went to sent0sa with yee mun, xy , fangz, wood, walter, gary, hadi, mus, candy, chien ying , gitte, irni, dester and ivan... hahax... quite fun... went to pelawan beach... den i was the 1 lookin after the bag coz xy dey all went into the sEa but i was not verii interested with the sea hahax... so i looked after the peskii bags lorx... den when i went near the sea , i was pushed down by dester dey all.. how peskii... Ah !! i m wet ! N tt's how i was landed in the sea... pathetic ... hahax... den we buried xy, hadi n dester in the sands... how cute... hahax... den i went to sit the monorail with candy hahax... ya... den around 6 plus we left sent0sa... den dey said dey wan to gary house downstairs tok tok so i went boon lay hahax... den i was cheated !!! haix... so went home again ...... sianz.. hahax......
16-03 - todae gt the cheer thingy... went to parc vista... learnt the dancestep... t0uGh ! den we aso order our p0m p0m... so c00l ... no nid make ! hahax... den learnin the cheer was quite fun... hahax... den me went to suki sushi with mom n kor... den missed my dear's show! omigod ! can't believe ii miiss it ! God ! feel liike cryiin..... den dunno why... whole hand gt rashes den my hand was so puffy..... haix
17-03 went to choir earlii in the morniin... den rashes damn itchy n pain so went home earlii den after tt nid to go wood hse to proj... sianz... den go lorx.... ya den had a great time durii dinner... hahax....
18-03- fiinali change moii blog skin le ! so happi ! den todae nv go choir... coz rashes get quite bad... haix... den keep scratchin like wat ms fong said... hahax... cannot c handsome guys le... maybe dun even hab... haha..... den tt's all la [e n d ]

it's alright, it's ok , it's onlii for a while, the pain will soon go away though my heart is breakin , it'll onli be a cherished moment later on.......

Y Sunday, March 13, 2005Y

7:49 PM

13/3 > todae morning ya still e same go tO suNday class...... haix... still as b0riin.... den went to sunTec with mom again to check with the stupid guy who didn't tell her bout the charger of her mp3... peski de... den go all the way dere agaiin... peskii sia... somemore s0o manii ppl squeeze liike siiao...... haixx... den went to eat swensons ! hahax... so shUang... hahax... yummii.... hahax... eat until like piig... hahax... den ermx... went home... Haixx... long way ya.... den aunt cum hse cook nasii lemak and manii ppl cum my hse... hahax... ya den tt's all lahx...

it may onli hurtZ juz to forget him.......

Y Saturday, March 12, 2005Y

5:17 PM

11/03 >>> todae is the last day of the term... haix... sadx sia... onli 1 week yet almost everday gt things to do... SiAnx sia...den todae is the last session for the confidence's speaker class... yesH !!! so happi !! finalli enD le... den me accidentalli trip on miSs ooI... scaRed mE siaL... lucKi she nV scolD or i DiE !!! wooohhhhhhhhh~~ den erm... gt a photoframe from tt teacher.... choir aso veri sianz... rehersal for the awards day.... thinkin tt ms kok is cumin bac, i am so excited to c her... i realli miss her s0 muchee !! den todae is my happiest day... hahax... though the start of the chat is quite unhappi but i chat with for more than 1hr plus... hahax.... me sia0 le... hahax......... 12/03 >> hahax... Finalli bought my digitaL camera !! so happy ! finalli gt wat i want ! yeaH ! den mom bought a mp3 but kana cheated coz there is no battery charger. ! stUpid lehx !!! nonsense one lorx... ya den tt's all bahx... [ e n d ]

u may not understand how i feel, but i am contented to like u in silence.........

Y Sunday, March 06, 2005Y

5:55 PM

todae went to church earlii in the m0rniinand den later went to jp again as usual... den eat eat shop shop den lyke tt lorx...
7/03 >> it's ruZ bday !!1 den went to ah ma hse ... den went hm... den maths lesson veri veri borin lorx... 8/03 >tues, free period mr neo came in to our class, and we made him veri veri angry.... [ guilty ] den todae is a f*uckin dae too.... i no nid anione to pity me !! sorri O ! is like bein a sc no big deal lorx !!! and ish like u may b concernin but to me is an insult !!! Sc veri big izzit !!! not like i nv been b4 !! stupid... haix !!!! den met my lucki star for the dae , wOODY !!! HAHAX... so happi ! gt someone accompani me HomE lE !!! peski !!! 9/03 >> todae durin pe , some unhappy things happen... ya... i agree my mouth is bad hahax... coz when i m angry, i say things tt r bad !!! ya i was juz protectin my 2 dauGhtErs in the sense~ den durin pe, life is nt tt borin coz i kept myself occupied ! hahax.. with my own jokes ! hee hee... den music lesson,our class decided to demo tmr for the theme songs..., although onli half of our class lorx... 10-03 >> todae demo, stupid... i nearli fall down and made a fool of moiiself... pai seh sia... hahax... deN lucki me no need to stay back for another practise... den suay sia... xy muz go, but she sing veri loud lor... sim cannot hear !!! haix... den quarrels happen haix... den got bac termly report ! HAix !!! resulTs Sux !!! haix... how am i goin to face mom.... den folkdance again... douglas dance lyke a crabby again... as usual... hahax... den dunno y suddenly bad mood... nv dance properly... haix... suddenly feel sad when i see tt person... haix... ya ..... tt's all lahx... [ e n d ]

dun ever treat me well onli when u feel like it coz i am not the cat tt u own...

Y Saturday, March 05, 2005Y

10:55 PM

hahax... todae wakee up iin the morning, den doll up nice nicee coz me goin to Kenji's autograph session... den we reach dere bout 2 plus den we found out tt there is onli 10 plus ppl lining up so me n hui min go walk walk den we go line up ... i m the no 14 in the line... hahax.. so cool... time flies and there are not mani ppl ... den i help my cousin buy his cd so i can queue twice ! hahax... so happI ! finalli was 6PM ! waited sooo long and finalli gt to c him... i was standin in the first line and busy blockin the camera with the board tt they gave hahax... den kenji finalli came !! Ah !! Ah !! hahax... damn HanDs0Me !!! Wah !!! he is Like pRince Charmin ! God !!! den i gt his autograPh and Shook hiS hanD twice !! hahax... So hAppi ! Feel Like DyinG~ hahax... no la... ya den ermz...bought the bag tt i been wantin... hahax... thaNks to my dearest mommy . n we knew a new fren at autograph session... ya tt's all...... [ e n d ]

everyone seems to be looking for true love , and they wore a mask to test ppl around and they nv ever think if they,themselves have give out their true feelings to others........

Y Friday, March 04, 2005Y

6:25 PM

0303.05 - erm... well i failed my a maths test again and ish veri sad indeed cos i think i did not study hard enough... ya... i passed my chinese test ! Yeah... at least there ish smth to be happii... there ish folkdance again... hahax.... douglas danced like a crab again.. hahax... hahax... he ish [[ weird ]] in dancin... and i am not suitable in dancin... omg ! i dunno how to dance... haix... not like willie , can dance So well... hahax.... ya....
04.03.05 - erm... durin cme, kim lee , me and xy got into the same group... fate ! and woody changed to our group but kana find out by sim... haix... suay... hahax... den eng , no teacher as usual , our class turned crazy... hahax... den my cough has worsen and cough lyke crazy in class and i gt 'stomach' cramp... hurt like hell ! den durin confidence speakin lesson, stomach hurtz too much tt i cried ! hahax... den after eatin choColate i felt better hahax... den b4 goin to suntec for career fair, nails & socks kana catch by chow... Suay sial... nonsense de lorx... den suntec fair quite ok lahx... but there is nth much i caN do in the Future... mUii wan go poly hahax...poly rox ! ya den erm... tml goin to c ke qun ! yeah !! sO haPPi... hahax.... tt's all bahx... [ e n d ]

i m juz showin my true self cos i dun wan to wear a mask in front of him... how he thinks of me, realli doesn't matter coz muii conscience is clear.......

Y Wednesday, March 02, 2005Y

8:33 PM

long time nv uPdate my bloG le... somemore, bl0g got prob... Ya... 25/2 ... had a quarrel wif sum frenz and ish lik3 my beloved mirror is gone... haahx... but now ish like evrything ish alrigHt le bahx... n den saturday, 26/2 , went out wif michelle, averil and xin yA... dEn, first tiMe c Averil weAt sleevEless shiRt... Hahax so We t0ok ne0prinTz to RememBer tis veri day... hahax.... ya den had alot of fun wif them at orhaRd and wenT to watCh whIte noiSe at plaZa sinG... hahax... Not veri scAry lahx... coZ st0ryline abit Lame... hahax... den went to sh0p around and lied to the guy at youth centre tt we will cum bac n to the handprintz but we didn't... sorri to Him... hhahaxx... quite pai seh bout it... den g0 h0me lorx... ya ... den 27/2 ish a borin dae coz i was n0t feelin well , somemore... mon gt 2 test... and i spent muii dae at hm... haix... 28/2 , erm.... ss and a maths test were veri veri difficult and i was like...... haix gonna faiil againn... gosh... i muz change my attitude man ! den durin ss lesson, juz a look at xy, kana scolded by perki again... sianz de lehx... haix... oways like tt... unlucky sial... durin mother tongue lesson, mdm nv cum... hhahax... abit happi so nt stressed le... hhahax.. 1/3 ... o level result REleased... erm... saw mani ppl cryin and i m thinkin if i will be one of dem 2 yrs down the road... and j did not scored well, sad for him... hahahx...den saw da jie dey all bac again... den durin ss lesson, i veri quiet sial nv tok and gt pay attention hahax... s0 happi 4 moiself... yea ! speciaL menTion... averil Gt hEr Dog le... Shaggy... Hahax...
2/3, tt ish todae, saw her dog pic... Veri cute sial... den today class kana scolded by sim , askin us to wakee up and dun change frm bad to worse... den ish like... i shld change or my o level will......... haix... den pe veri sian sial... long jump ! Borin !~ haix... jump lyke crazi... hahax...

y he keep thinkin i hab change ! he juz dunn0 the feelin towards him ish gettin deeper and makin me feel lyke dyin............ i juz can't bring moiself to 4get him.......