.: g0odbyes really are f0rever;

Y Saturday, April 30, 2005Y

6:21 PM

27-04- ermz... t0dae haviin examz , eng paper 1 n paper 2... and ii m still verii sick ... den m0rnin , dad came t0 sch teL ms Sim tt i'll b g0in h0me after examS den me went t0 staff r0om call her, i called twice , she stilL did n0t came 0ut n i g0t nerv0us n i cried 0utside the staff r0om... stupid rite... hahax... t0o em0tionaL... hee... den saw him twice t0dae... hahax... in the stupid is0lati0n r0om.. ya... den ermz g0 h0me den had my tuiti0n...
28-04- t0dae in sch ermz... was verii fun... hahax... duriin a maths , me n xy was like crazii ... and i became BEz fren wif Qia0 wei duriin phy... hahax... c0ol... [ i believe mahs ] hahax ... ya... den i became the lame ones in class... thanks t0 my t0rtise n snail j0ke... Is funnii kkz... den bens0n gave me the iidea of writing a book of air con... haha... gd idea ! hahax... den durin folkdance, we had a great luffiin time... thanks t0 willie's LAme jokes... hahax... c0ld... den went t0 jp n spent al0t money 0n drinks... haix...
29-04- todae gt healthcheck ... ya n my b0ok of aircon is 0ut le... hahax... pls supp0rt... yea! be careful n wear jacket in case.. hahas.... den after sch , gt chinese paper 1... hahax... ya...
30-04-bought my shoe le ! YEA... den went moii cousin hse celebrate her bdae...

[[-stay away fr0m tr0ubles-]]

Y Tuesday, April 26, 2005Y

4:27 PM

26-04 - i m 0n mC t0dae c0s i m siCk... yA... dEn ermz ... StilL haviin feVer ... w0oh... haiix... it's tiime i shLd realLi haB t0 break fr0m scH and moii clAz... realLii sicK n tiRed ... tmr mYe exAmz starTs lE.. siiAnz... StrEsseD 0ut... w0nder h0w's thE clAz t0dae? dunn0 y , s0rt of miSsin thE sch... w0ndeR if He caN g0 back Class lE... ya... tt'S alL ... [ e n d ]

the bez wAy t0 escApe frM proBlemS iS t0 finD s0lUti0nS...

Y Monday, April 25, 2005Y

8:54 PM

23.04.05- today gt POP lors... den after tt , went t0 secret recipe with mUn n Shu xian... Ya... The cAke i ate waS like n0t bad, but mUn's was disappointing ... hahax... n0t reallii niice lorx... den we had a great tiime at IMM... hahax... takiin scary ph0tos and luff like crazy... it was fUn...
24-05 - .todae went t0 church as uSual... den went t0 jp with m0m... and had a tiff wif her at jP... tt's sad n furstratiin ! den ok le went h0me and i was sick ... vomitted 0ut the things i eaten tt nite.. siianz...
25-04- Today is supp0se to be a verii nice day As it iS monday and i passed moii a mAths ! amAzing ! bUt sad t0 say , my day is spoilt ! and i m haviin fever 38 degrees celcius... juz feel like dyin at tt moment ! ... todae gt spotcheck ... and i gave my digitaL caM t0 miss sim and she gave me bac after ScH... and Iskandar ( name muz be written ) kana suspensi0n... sad 4 hiim... hahax... but get to c him le... hahax... peskii... [ fan hua chi ] ... ya... den bac iin tat claz 3F , unhappy matters happEn... I hab m0ii own problEms s0 dun dun create tr0uble 4 me... n i stressed tt this iis my blog, i shld hab the freed0m of writing wateva i wan... n i h0pe ppl who hab questiions in mind, pls ask me personallii... ( i m writin tis sincerely ) and pls dun asSume thiNGs n lEt rumoUrs g0 ar0und... [ things said cannot b taken bac ] Dun accUse mE plz... if u dun wan ppl t0 d0 thingS t0 u , plz dun d0 it t0 otheRs... TY...

juz read n forget the things i write ...

Y Thursday, April 21, 2005Y

8:32 PM

18.04.05- nth to be said...
19-04.05- [c]ongratz to gladys for beiin the viice pres of ch0ir ! YEah ! hahax... i m s0 happi ! and mind u , thou i m still a librarian , u dun had to say tt ! Can't U shuT ur M0uTh ?! and onlii can d0 one yr , and thinkiin tt u will be anii of the big post ... ! u think u r the president? No ! In ur dreAm s ! u ThinK u will be ? neVa ! and iif anithing , say Say It in fr0nt of me ! thiinkin of the times when we went 0ut togethEr n had a greaT tiMe ... and U think we R ablE to g0 back den ? d0 U 3ver treat tHE fRENSHiP Seriously ?! D0 u ever Feel Sad when frenship r brokEn ? No i guess ! It's a wasTe ... [ty] for blockiin 4 me , but i can't avoid it 4eva .. i hab to face it ! it is truth! ya... wake up gurl frm ur nitemare ! Haiix...
20-04-05- went to c bball match after sch... wwss won !! S0 Gd sia ! hahax... n We had a great time dere... and went to eat with wood n xy b4 tt... den they were like jokiin and i could not control my laughTer n i pUke vitas0yn 0ut ! WoosH !! hahax... s0rrii bout tt... hahax... den [kns] are together at last ... missed the times durin IPW n lotz... hahax... ya... and [i]s showiin concern juz to make up ur guilt , if tt's s0, dun d0 it, it hurtz even m0re... and u'll nv understand the paiin when u r n0w livin in happiness ! U caRe?
21-04-05- omi ! mY m0uth hurTz .... haix... and todae got lotz of scoldings and sarca ! Sianz... den flunk my phyiscs n a maths [ 4 sure ] and lucky i passed my a maths ! wooh... den went 4 NAfa tesTz... i m s0 lousy at all these... haix... [note:] i dun hab to beg you to be my fren... i dun give a damn... apparently , u think u r tt big tt every0ne wanS to bE uR fren ! and think ! when ppl dislike a pers0n , there probably a reaS0n ! and When SucH biG grp dislike tt pers0n , smtH hab g0ne wronG , dun be naive and push it t0 us ! Y muz we be the 0ne st0ppiin when tt pers0n can d0 s0 happily ! tt'S SHIT ! [s]t0p messiin uP mY moii Life n i had enuFF !!! I m sick n tireD of thiS prOb ! Not happi juz tok T0 mE ! Dun say thingS behinD my Back !!! and givin me tt l00k of UrS ! i m n0t ur wateva n nt paid t0 lo0k at uR pathetic n sickeniin L00K ! JUz leavE me al0nE and dun JumP to concluSion anihoW aniway !! JUz mind ur owN businEss and continUE believin things tt U THINK IS TRUE N BE A FOOL !

It's where she lies , broken inside. With n0 place t0 g0 , no place to go n dry her eyEs ... Broken inside...

Y Saturday, April 16, 2005Y

7:08 PM

todae purposely shld go secret recipe with mun de, den she cAnn0t g0 0ut... s0 went t0 swiis c0ttage ss to c martin' s bb enrolment... hahax... ya... nth much to sae about iit... ya... happii to c him in sec sch n0w... and den w3nt to my cousin's hse 4 dinnEr ya... tt'S alL lahx... [ e n d ]

" hurtiin someone tt will dun wanna HurTz '' iis a miistake cos she or he may nv be h3al anim0re

Y Friday, April 15, 2005Y

10:01 PM

14.04 - pe0ple r hard t0 pleased ... i can't possibly pleased everyone ... and u r messiin up my life... i juz wan to lead my own life ...
todae's lessons are b0ring... as usual... haix... den duriin a maths , mr ne0 was s0 angrii wif uS and he kick3d the table... OH my God ! Scary !! s0 damn shocked... Our stand n deliver iis Still l0ng l0r ... No nid to rush le yea !! hahax... alotz of conflicts happen ... hope everythin will be alrite... ya ... todae folkdance, i luff until i was choked !! oh moii god... i think i m goiin mad ... and smelly flower dance like wat onli... s0 peskii... hahax... n laughter reallii make me feel beta... u may think i m weird these dayz... plz bear wif me... ya... Chien ying aso said s0... but i dunno wat else i can do lehs... NachOs rox !! hahax... Laughter is the best medicine coz there is the effect of numbness i guess... i think tt ii m silly coz all these iis wat i deserve... is nt his fault... iis mine ! really.... time may heal ... but forgettiin will need a long time den... haix... when will it ever end... i m sufferiin lotz... 15-04 - fri - gt 3 tests todae... hahax... sianz... chem is hard ! hate it ~ and e maths was fun after doiin muchee... hahax... first time i like maths seh ! wOo... d3n todae gt rehersal for NyAa thingy ... sianz ! verii B0 liAo lorx... den waited for averil for bout 2 hrs plus...
hahax... had a great time with yee mun chien ying they all in the cafeteriia... hahax... luffiin nonsense and things are like sorted out... hahax... [ en d]

cryiin seems so easy to me n0w ... But luffiiN is gettiin harder ... loviin someone iis to forgive all his mistakes and support hiim silently ...

Y Wednesday, April 13, 2005Y

9:22 PM

i m nt 0k yet... wonder when will ii ever be welL agaiin ... der3 iis s0 much thiing t0 both3r... juz t00 much 4 mii... todae vice principaL t0k s0 much siia... and he called 3F to ans qn and UnfortuNately , iiS our dEaresT Yee Mun ... hahax... omigoD... hahax... so unlucky... Ya...i goiin to ChinA ... happii... and miss ooi is goiin to leave us s00n... haix... i dunN0 wan her to go lehs... dunno why , i fe3l attached t0 her lia0... she iis a gd teacher ... haiix... sads... den todae choir gt a celebrAtiion for SYF... yea... hahax... eat pizza... hahax... den went t0 cafeteriia... dunno y todae s0 high ... hahax... luffiin non stop thou i m usiin laughter to nUmb moii paiin... ya ... and the peiyu's thingy was s0 damn funnii... hahahax... juz can't stop luffiin... hop3 i can luff like this 4eva... [ e n d ]

wh3neva i look at U , my heart will hurtz once m0re... I mayb usiin laughT3r t0 4get the paiin but tt's the onlii way i know tt mY teaRz wilL nt b Rolliin d0wn...

Y Tuesday, April 12, 2005Y

9:15 PM

todae iis a l0ng day f0r me... pretendiin tt nth had happened n smil3 all e time.. it's hard to do tt thou but i m tryin reaL hard... i dun wan him t0 thInk tt it iiS hiS fault... i may be pretendin to be stR0ng... bUt tt's wat i onli can do n muz d0 ... sads... gt the newspaper frm xy le... c kenji so happy... i m extrA S.L.O.W todae ya... mind can't functiion well... and everywhere ii g0 , ii will hear the nam3 ! Why? haiix... can't even runaway frm it... omigod... ][ e n d ][

[h] eart dead ... I m sufferiin frem the pain u left f0r me n stuck iin the nit3mare tt i could nv get out and neither i cAn wake uP frm iit ...

Y Monday, April 11, 2005Y

7:57 PM

todae went to sch wif fear ... hahax... den after tokiin to simi , i actualli cried ! I m s0 mdamn emotional ... hahax... scary... and i juz can't help iit... ya... den t0k to simi... she is verii nice... hahax... den things gt beta after tt... IT traiinin was b0-ring... yea... den claz was b0ring as well esp ss... hahax... with a t0ad... hahax... nonsense onLi... ya... den after it trainin , waited 4 averil with zhiling , xin ya , yee mUn and chien yiing th0u she is not sittin with Us... hahax... we are s0 damn high toda3... den saw thiings happen... d3n i rmb wat xy said " i'll choose to luv someone in silenc3 coz it makes n0 rejecti0n " smth liddat la... ya ... tt phrase was fantastic... reallii... wat ii expected hab cam3 true thou i stiil feel hurtz n sad... haiix... ... ya... haix... i dun think i m able let g0 and i will learn t0 luv in silenc3... the earlier i noe, it is beta... thou it is hard to go thru but i will bear all these ! ty for tellin me... [ e n d ]

i can't live w/o u , can't breathe w/o u , i dream about u ... honestly tell moii tt ish over ... n i'll be the first to go but i dun wan to b the last to kn0w...

Y Sunday, April 10, 2005Y

9:27 PM

8/4/05 - todae iish the track n field meet ... as usual , cactus was the lAst ... hahax... thou it was fun ... den our cheerleadin competition , 0ur hse gt 3rd... hahax... it's beta than nth ya... hahax... s0 hAPPi b0ut it... den t0ld miss ooi dat i dun wan go china lia0 but dunn0 y , i m now feelin regret b0ut iit... den went hm early coz tonite gg to malaysiia ... wooh ... 9-04-05- went to KL and sh0p and bought the stuffs tt i long wanted... hahax... thx to m0m... and had a great shoppin time and get t0 EAT my fave SECRET RECIPE CAKE ! damn happi !! hahax... den saw a verii nice n cute shop called the [ GIRLS ] ... 10-04-05- todae iis a speciial dae for me last yr but not this yr... still wiish him happi b'dae ! hahax den h0me sweet h0me... hahax... sianz tmr still gt sch... and tok to xy on the fone and gt to noe lotz of things... i m scared seriously... hahax.... [ end]

i m learniin n0t to fe3l hurtz s0 easily but juz by lookiin at him make me feel hurtz...

Y Thursday, April 07, 2005Y

7:21 PM

todae morniin still nt feeliin verii well den went to sick bay... woa , s0o crowded... hahax... saw Gerome... He s0 gd siia offer me the bed... hahax... but iin the end he gt the bed back... hahax... he tok alot siia... hahax... stiil say he sick siia... hahax... den chien ying , xin ya and yee mun came n visiit me... S0 happi... hahax... den went to c doc with the A.M and another mdm... the doc is verii l0usy ... hahax... ya den went to eat m0iiself... s0 ke liian ... den sneak up to class... hahax saw they alL dance folkdance... hahax... funnii siia... den went f0r cheerleadiin coz tmr is the BIG day... hahax nervous seh... den went hom3 late... ya s0 excited bout tmr... w0oh...thou the msg may n0t cum frm hiis heart , i m already verii contented and happi ! [ e n d ]

he doesn't care or mayb he iish t0o bz, doesn't lo0k , doesn't giive a damn , it is wat i hab been waiitin f0r ....?

Y Wednesday, April 06, 2005Y

7:07 PM

todae ii m siick... gastric agaiin ... verii painful siince last nite... after tt ii was plannin to g0 c doct0r myself... den chien ying and yee mUn came to my hse and viisit me !! OMG ! i am so touched and Shocked at the same tiime ! Omg! hahax den they accompanied me t0 c doct0r ... hahax happii ! i m s0o touch3d... hahax... den had a great luffiin tim3 at my hSe ya... den they went home... i m reallii glad to noe them as my frenz... Thank U ! ya tt's all ... [ e n d ]

iit is onlii tru3 luv when u C his flaws, imperfEcti0ns and weakness, and u still can't live w/o him...

Y Tuesday, April 05, 2005Y

8:24 PM

WWSS Ch0ir got silver 4 this yr SYF competition... Yay ! [ applause ] hahax... so happi nehx.... though the practices were touGh but iiSh all now worthwhile... tired siia... den todae 10.35 am leave the claz lia0, sianz... den went for choir... and practise again and again... tiring sehx... and bout 3 , we boarded the bus and went to s'pore conference hall... [ nervous ] yeap... verii ... standin on the stage singin was verii tough as there are lots of unfamiliar faces lookin at us... Breathe iin... and out... but i was stiill verii nervous ya... den durin the announcement of resUlt , we were all verii stern and scared and WE GT SILVER ! unbelievablE ! We Did it !! YEAh ! So pR0ud of ch0ir... hahax... we did not let ms kok , conductor n teachers down and we did our best.... hahax... finallii is 0ver ... whew~ [ e n d ]

maybe it is time for the dream t0 end , but i do not wan it to end without an ans frm him....

Y Monday, April 04, 2005Y

6:10 PM

felt s0 relieved to c him in the morning ... and heard tt the dream might happen... neva muz it happen ... ya... den todae's less0ns are boriing... den social studies teacher was mr goh ! Bo-rinG thou had a great luffin sessi0n with Chien ying ANd simi... hahax... tryiin to look 0k but i m n0t... i m worried.... real w0rried.... but i found out tt i cann0t do anithing, can't even tel hiim to be careful or wateva... i may nt be aniibodi to him but i juz wan him to be safe... ya... god will bless hiim de... hahax... ya... [ e n d ]
p.s : saw smth great at friendster bulletin board...
> guys, if a gal cries becoz of u , pls dun give her up, maybe becoz of ur decision, u may ruin her life... She cries nt becoz she is weak or wan sympathy or pity, she cries becoz cryiin silently is n0 l0nger possible, the pain and hurtz have becum too big a burden to be kept inside...

Sometimes becoz if some decisions u made, u hurt someone u nv wanna hurt....

6:10 PM

Y Sunday, April 03, 2005Y

8:50 PM

wh00... had a bad dream last nite... ya... den todae went to k b0x celebrate moii dear c0usin's bdae... so happi ... can siing lor... den moii bring my 2 little cousinz go toilet, den saw 2 gals n 2 guys b0ut my age smokiin outside ... pls lar...idiots... i hate sm0kers and can't u c i m bringiin 2 little kids with me... dun influence them with ur stupiid habits and i m not interested in answerin any of ur bloody questionz!! hahax too agitated... juz hate it... den after singin , den bought a billabong pencil case for my cousin.... den went h0me l0r... 03.04.05-- todae overslept nv go church ! oh my god ! stuPid me siia... s0 i stayed at home n slack... hahax... den did my hw den sleep again... lookin in the mirror, i found out tt moii face Ish s0 ROUND ! Omig0d ! haiix... i wan to go on diet !! haahax...

Sorry can't cure a broken heart and aso can't bring back life... So dun bother to say sorry to me if u hurtz me ...

Y Friday, April 01, 2005Y

8:07 PM

todae... is april's fool dae... wat a peskii day ya... hahax... den todae physics presentation... nt verii gd cos lotx ppl dun understand... aiyoyo... sianz... den english less0n... quite da b0riin... but aso happy hahax... nonsense siia... den went to chien ying's hse ... den sing karaoke... fun siia... hahax... her hse verii cosy n niice... hahax... den went to sch... for awards dae ceremonii den muz pin up hair and put on lipstick... den ms fong said cannot c the colour in front of the choir ... pai seh siia... hahax... den nerv0us duriin the performance... haiix... nv c hiim... ya tt's all den tmr go celebrate my cousin's b dae... [ e n d ]

n0w den i know tt u to0k a place iin my heart and i juz wan t0 cheriish iit ...